TV Critics: MasterChef; Heading Out; Planet Ant; Bluestone 42; Whale Adventure

“Identifying saffron in a custard is like picking out Stephen Fry on a radio show in which he is the only cast member. Nevertheless, two people managed to miss it and they were miraculously kept in, while one who spotted it was kicked off… There doesn’t seem to be any process here. You may as well just get these two judges, burnished and shiny by the considerable successes of their lifetimes, and have them stride through a crowd, deciding who they like the look of.”
Zoe Williams, The Guardian

“Here’s what’s right with MasterChef… It has kept to its decision to abandon changes made two years ago when it thought it was a cookery version of the X Factor… That said, with every new run, its menu offers enough novelty to keep us interested… The other things it gets right are the competitors, who embody each week a different variety of kitchen imperfection.”
Andrew Billen, The Times

 “It continues to strain credulity with its comic plots. This week, one running joke concerned her friend Jamie’s attempts to become more blokey, an ambition that never remotely threatened to become believable. On the other hand, the surreal moments at which the whole thing turned into a soulful French film, complete with subtitles, were quite funny. The latter seemed true to a state of mind, the former just faked one for the sake of a joke.”
Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

“The jokes are stale, the punchlines are awkwardly delivered, as if the actors are deservedly ashamed, the tropes are two decades old (a therapist with made-up qualifications and a drum? Why stop there? Where’s the critical mother who wants to be a grandmother, what about a nice lady vicar who likes a drink, we could use a spoilt Sloane Ranger here, if anyone’s got a moment, SOMEONE CALL FRENCH AND SAUNDERS. Ask them if they’ve got any ideas left over from 1987).”
Zoe Williams, The Guardian

“Planet Ant was fascinating – it’s only drawback being that all those close-ups of scuttering ants may have induced formication in the more sensitive viewer.”
Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

“Fascinating as all this was, the real star of the show was the artificial colony that was built in the Glasgow Science Centre. With its glass walkways and a million leafcutter ants brought in from Trinidad, it gave presenters and cameras unprecedented access to the workings of these structures. More than that, it was a structure of extraordinary Turner Prize-winning beauty.”
Matt Baylis, Daily Express

“The best moment was when one of the squad, teased for being over the hill, shot dead a sniper. There followed a stunned pause that gave viewers just time to fear they were in for a post-traumatic stress plotline or philosophy. But it was followed by cheers and congratulations all round. The death had made an old man (28) very happy. A documentary would seldom dare to make a point about the dehumanizing effects of war, so casually or so truthfully.”
Andrew Billen, The Times

“Greeted by a curious grey whale calf and its mother in a nursery colony off the Pacific coast of Mexico, Marven made a point not just of expressing his delight at the encounter but explaining what it felt like, from the fishy reek of the calf’s breath to the unexpected sharpness of the barnacles on the mother’s back… That perhaps is why Marven’s so marvelous. He touches nature so we don’t have to.”
Matt Baylis, Daily Express