“It really didn’t matter we heard more testimonials for Muller Rice than potential chart-toppers.” Read on for the verdict on last night’s TV.

THE X FACTOR, ITV1

“It really didn’t matter that between 7.30pm and 9pm we’d heard more testimonials for Muller Rice than we had potential chart-toppers…because here was a repository of hard entertainment and gentle humour…The X Factor juggernaut will roll on, for better or worse, but always in perfect pitch.”
Alex Hardy, The Times

“It’s all one big talent contest now, all the time, for ever. Quite depressing… I wasn’t going to be manipulated, but I’ve somehow been sucked in. I’m not proud of it.”
Sam Wollaston, The Guardian

MARTIN CLUNES – HORSEPOWER, ITV1

“It was all surprisingly bearable for a general audience, and utter bliss, I imagine, for little girls with a crush on a pony.”
Tom Sutcliffe, The Independent

MOUNTAIN GORILLA, BBC2

“Narrator Patrick Stewart managed sufficient gravitas to whip the tale of these enchating creatures into a thrilling drama.”
Virginia Blackburn, Daily Express

VEXED, BBC2

“Greenlit is a chronically unclever, uncool name for a production company and Vexed is exactly what you imagine they might make: a suburban Brit version of Moonlighting…The one thing [Toby Stephens] really can’t do is comedy…Luckily for him, if not for us, he’s been given a script that barely tickles his lack of antic talent….it looks and sounds liek a hurried first draft.”
AA Gill, The Sunday Times

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